I'm not depressed
I do not take pleasure in the things that I used to enjoy.
I haven't picked up my camera in weeks, don't take it with me wherever I go
Don't post or join in the conversations on my photography group's facebook page,
don't go to group photo sessions.
I don't go to Friday night cards anymore with my group of friends
That they are much better people that I am
That I don't deserve their company.
I've done some really bad things since springtime.
I skipped hockey Tuesday night
and will have to force myself to go tonight.
I haven't picked up a knitting needle, crochet needle or cross-stitch needle in months.
Haven't gone on bike rides around the lake
but that's because the bears this year are everywhere
and I don't want to surprise a mama with her cubs
or come between a papa and the berry bushes or apple trees.
I'm not depressed.
Those are definitely some of the signs.
But I've been clinically depressed before
and I know what that feels like.
I don't feel unfulfilled.
I still scrapbook and read.
I still work and enjoy my work for the most part.
I do enjoy my time alone.
I want time alone.
The more time alone the better.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that.